A friend of mine sent this to me, and parts of it made me laugh until I cried. Thanks Dot.

‘S Rioghal Mo Dhream
William E Herrington

You know you're Australian if....

You know the meaning of 'girt'

You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk

You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin

You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchersstuffed in your wallet or purse

You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it forsomething illegal such as watering the garden

When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how oftenand with whom

You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs'refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds

You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'

You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'

You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional

You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way toMaccas'

You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep

You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really,truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'

You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place

You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twiceas big as its $2 coin

You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'WoyWoy' can't be called 'Woy'

You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread

You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuffup, at which point they again become Kiwis

You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'

You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during anyrendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'

You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as theWagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year

You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is notspelt with a 'u'

You wear ugh boots outside the house

You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them

Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to ordertakeaway fluently in every Asian language

You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is alway polite

You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasions via your nose

You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'

You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle

You biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beachcricket

You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what theycall 'Anzac cookies'

When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutallystrip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit (Just a note this did happen to me just traveling down coast from Cairns to Brisbane Thank goodness I did not have some form of fruit hidden on me. -William)

You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of blacktracky-daks, suitably laundered

You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction

When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer

You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthemand then have trouble remembering the second (Advance Australia Fair has a second verse How did I miss that -William)

You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!! (I guess two years was all that was needed for me to go native. -William)